27

In October I turned 27, which isn't really that significant of a birthday although it feels really strange to be only 3 years away from 30. However, it did make me think about where I am in life and how I'm nowhere near where I thought I would be at this age. When I was in high school I thought that by now I would be married, with a career and starting a family. Life didn't really work out the way I thought it would when I was 17 but I feel okay about it. Not great, but okay. I think that my life so far has given me lots of opportunities to learn about myself in a way that might not have been possible if I had tried to stick to some "plan" I thought of in high school.

The NYTimes had an article a few months ago that described people in their 20's as being in a developmental stage called "emerging adulthood" (also called "failure to launch kids" but I don't like that as much) Basically the article says our society has changed over time and, as such, there is a new timetable for adulthood. This new developmental stage is not accepted by everybody, much like adolescence over a century ago. However, there's no denying that people are reaching those milestones of adulthood (marriage, kids, owning a home, a long-term career) later and later in life, if at all. More and more people are using their 20's as a chance to learn more about themselves and try out a variety of different careers, partners and lifestyles before settling down. Reading that article made me feel a lot better about myself because sometimes I think I'm "behind" some of my friends and I need to catch up. But then again I think I have just as many friends who are in a similar position as I am. So it was nice to read that article because it validated my life in some way.

Anyway, those were some of the things I was thinking about on my birthday but all of that changed as soon as I saw Karl. Why? Well Karl's birthday present to me was probably the biggest surprise I have ever gotten.

 HE SHAVED HIS GOATEE! I nearly had a heart attack when I saw him. I could not believe it. Karl has had it since he graduated from high school. He went to Xavier High School which is an all boys Catholic school and they did not allow facial hair, so the summer after he graduated Karl grew a goatee. He said he shaved it only once since then, which was way before I met him. I (and pretty much all of our friends) have never seen him without it. I felt like I was looking at a completely different person! It was actually really weird! I have always teased him about the goatee, not because I didn't like it but because, just once, I wanted to see what he looked like without it. "Shave it off!" I would say, "You can grow it right back, I just want to see you!" And he would always tell me he couldn't shave it because of this agreement he has with his friend Ryan. He told Ryan that as soon as he finished his Master's at UCONN he would shave off his goatee. Ryan abandoned his Master's program right before he was almost done with it to pursue a Ph.D. at MIT and he has never gone back to UCONN to finish. Karl said if he shaved before Ryan finished his Master's then it would take away all of his motivation. Well I guess he decided Ryan was probably never going to finish his Master's and shaved it off as a present for me.

When I saw him I started crying because I was in so much shock. It really felt like I was looking at a different person. I kept staring at him. I would look away and then look back and just stand there with my mouth open. This person sounded like Karl, and acted like Karl but he didn't look like Karl. I really didn't expect to be so emotional about it. And he definitely didn't look bad, it's not like he was hiding some kind of horrible wart or birthmark or anything, he looked very nice. He just didn't look like Karl! Karl was really shocked at my reaction too. And I felt bad, I was trying to keep it together and not freak out so much because I didn't want Karl to feel bad or self conscious about it but it was really hard! Karl said he skyped with his mom and she didn't notice anything different at all. But she's seen him without the goatee before so it makes sense that she wasn't as surprised.

Later that night we went to dinner with a bunch of our friends and everybody was just as shocked as I was! It's really quite and experience to know somebody one way for your entire friendship/relationship and then have them dramatically alter their appearance. Karl's students were also surprised, one girl kept telling him he looked "weird".

I didn't know if he was going to keep his face clean shaven or if he was going to grow the goatee back. I wanted him to grow it back because it just seemed like such a part of him! But I didn't want to tell him that. And if he wanted to stay hair free then I know I would get used to him like that too and it would be fine. Karl decided to grow his hair back, actually right now he has a full beard. His "winter beard" he calls it. I like it and I think he'll probably always be a facial hair kind of guy.

So anyway, I guess it was quite an emotional birthday and one I definitely won't forget.